'Christmas morning, I was ready': Newlywed overhears husband and in-laws dissing her, then plots husband's downfall for the next holiday season

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Dec 1, 2023 5:00 PM EST

The holiday season is a time to be with your family… unless you have to deal with these uppity in-laws. This family seemingly prioritizes tradition over kindness, and u/seriouslampshade was having none of it. 

In so many Christmas TV specials and movies, the message is clear: the holidays aren't about buying tons of stuff, they're about spending time with the people you love most. But apparently this person's in-laws never got that message. They're way more concerned with the way their gifts to each other look. They call their present exchange "the Ceremony," and it's a big deal. The in-laws are pretty intense about the way gifts should be wrapped and presented. In theory, that could be really fun! It's just not fun for the OP, who heard her family talking behind her back. Some families love to gossip, and the OP just happened to overhear her own family roasting her gifting style. 

You can read the entire story below, as well as comments from supportive commenters who assured the OP she didn't do anything wrong. Then, these folks really felt their age while talking to their young coworkers, like one person who shared that a youngster didn't "know how to write a check." 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 9844573952
    via freestocks on Unsplash
  • 02
    Tis the season... L OC Once upon a time I was a newlywed, getting ready for my first Christmas with my in-laws. Now it's worth noting that these people are Christmas crazy - you know that one house on the block that's decked out in more bling then a cashed up s ? That's them. So as a new bride I wanted to make a good impression. I should also note that my new husband had a history of taking credit for things he'd played no part in, such as presents, or meals. Or a wedding.
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 03
    In the lead up to Christmas I had shopped, wrapped and ribbon'd as if my life depended on it. Everyone had carefully selected gifts that were wrapped immaculately, with a complimenting ribbon and bow, and handmade tags (not the stickers with 'To' and 'From'). Christmas morning, I was ready.
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 04
    We entered the living room, and after the momentary visual adjustment required for that amount of tinsel in a confined space everyone sat down around the tree for the Gift Giving Ceremony. The Ceremony was a big part of the day for my in-laws, one person was selected to wear a Santa hat and distribute the gifts one by one. When it was your turn to open a gift, everybody watched you. What I didn't know then is this was a form of analysis so it could be discussed later.
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 05
    A few gifts are given out, then one of the ones I'd wrapped was handed to my husband. I was terribly excited, it was something he'd wanted for ages. I couldn't wait for him to be thrilled when he opened it. But wait I did ... because he couldn't get the ribbon off. We weren't supposed to talk during the Ceremony, so we all sat there quietly while a grown man wrestled with a
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 06
    ribbon. (It was curling ribbon for those in the know, not exactly a rubik's cube.) After a good ten minutes of watching him lose his mind, I quietly suggested he pull the bow off so the ribbon would slip off the side. He did so, and was mildly enthused at the gift. We moved on to the next person, and after a bit my husband was handed another gift. My mother-in-law said "Don't worry, I won't tell you how to open it!" with a completely innocent smile on her face. I chose not to say what I was thin
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 07
    Shortly after, a gift was handed to me from my parents-in-law, with an insincere apology that it didn't have a bow. At this point I figured I must have somehow broken Ceremony etiquette by using ribbon. I made a mental note not to repeat my mistake in the future and laughed it off. First Christmas, right? There's bound to be some hiccups.
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 08
    Following the Ceremony it was lunchtime, which went fine. Afterwards the men retired downstairs while the women cleaned up. This wasn't unusual as they're a fairly traditional family. Except instead of helping my mother- and sister-in-law with the dishes, I was sent to collect the scraps of wrapping paper from earlier and take them out to the rubbish. This was a little unusual,
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 09
    when I'd been there for meals before I'd done dishes with them. But again, it's Christmas and they have their rules. So I collected it all up, and then went back to the kitchen to get another rubbish bag. I was in the hallway, and I overheard their conversation about how utterly terrible I was at domestic things, how I'd clearly paid to have the gifts wrapped to show off, how the things I'd picked were unsuitable, and I was so ungrateful for what they'd given me etc etc. I was steamed.
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 10
    Unexpectedly, my husband chimed in. "If I'd have known she was going to go stupid with it I would have helped, but I was so busy working and she swore she'd take care of it."
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 11
    I went from steamed to apocalyptic. He was in his third week of an eight week holiday from work, while I was working extra shifts trying to get a promotion. I had begged him to help me choose things for his family. When we got home later and I'd calmed down a bit, I tried talking to him about it. His response was a grovelling apology and an explanation that his family were "a bit crazy about Christmas" and that I should just leave family gifts to him.
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 12
    So the following Christmas, I bought a gift for each of them. One gift. From me only. Wrapped with simple paper and minimal tape. Christmas morning comes around, and my husband is given the honour of the Santa hat. Halfway through he starts looking around the tree frantically, obviously having realised that there was nothing from him under there. Afterwards he pulls me aside and asks what the . I'm sure I looked way more innocent than I felt when I answered "I left the family gifts to you!"
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 13
    I don't have a funny story about the third Christmas, because our marriage didn't last that long. But I've just finished wrapping a pile of gifts for this Christmas, and as I curled the ribbon to make my kid's presents extra fancy, I felt very vindicated to know that tomorrow morning's chaos will have zero sense of Ceremony about it. Merry Christmas!
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 14
    TLDR: Tried to impress new in-laws at Christmas, husband threw me under the bus when it didn't go well. So the next Christmas I let him take the iniative and it was a festive disaster.
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 15
    EDIT: I am really enjoying reading about everyone's wrapping traditions, and I'm pleased to say that the people around me now love my little creative quirks. Many of you have congratulated me on getting out of the situation but in the interests of accuracy, three months after the second Christmas my now ex- husband informed me during a romantic dinner that he wanted a divorce. I didn't
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 16
    see it coming and at the time I thought the world was ending, but now the whole relationship is a series of humorous anecdotes. Take heart if you're in a bad situation - there does come a time where you can laugh about it.
    via u/seriouslampshade
  • 17
    lizlollie I thought that you were gonna sit there and "struggle" to unwrap your gift for 45 minutes straight and then shush-harass them if they offer advice. But yeah the divorce seems like a better call :)
    via u/lizlollie
  • 18
    BEFEMS That sounds like an absolute horrible family to me. In my family some people wrap gifts in beautiful paper, some wrap it in whatever they found in their closets and some don't wrap it all. We don't care. A gift is about the best intentions, about being together and spending a good time. I'm the kind that uses
    via u/BEFEMS
  • 19
    left-over wrapping paper and if I don't have enough I use magazines to cover the holes. Of course I purchase wrapping paper (otherwise I can't have left-overs obviously). Our rule is "come as you are, do as you are"
    via u/BEFEMS
  • 20
    hallucineating Sounds like a family just looking for something, anything you did to criticise and anything you'd done would have been made into a transgression. I had in laws like that, determined to find fault in anything I did. I'm also very glad my marriage didn't have a third Christmas.
    via u/hallucineating
  • 21
    rncookiemaker Good for you, holding people accountable. Marriage is a team effort. My Mom used to say something to the gist of 'when you marry, your loyalty is only to your partner, and your partner's loyalty should be to you'.
    via u/rncookiemaker
  • 22
    Nite_Girl Literally read this whole story holding my breath that you'd divorced him lol 306 Reply Share BrownSugarBare Holy , talk about marrying into an ungrateful lot. Glad OP got out.
    via u/Nite_Girl

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wrapping paper christmas wrapping presents malicious compliance malicious-compliance-reddit christmas presents malicious compliance reddit gifts wife husband father in law in laws mother in law
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